Wondering what things I wish I knew before moving to Turkey? Stay tuned!

Having lived in Istanbul for nearly four years and having helped many individuals in their journey of settling into Istanbul, I have come to realize there are a few things I wish I had known before moving to Turkey. 

Istanbul, a vibrant and culturally rich city, offers incredible opportunities and experiences, but understanding certain aspects can greatly enhance your transition. From mastering basic Turkish phrases to comprehending the nuances of the local transportation system, embracing Turkish hospitality, and navigating the labyrinthine markets, these are just a few aspects that can make a significant difference in your everyday expat life. 

Gaining experience and understanding of the local customs, food, and the country’s history and traditions are also crucial for a fulfilling experience. By being well-informed and open-minded, you can fully immerse yourself in the unique charm and captivating lifestyle that Turkey has to offer.

A little Turkish goes a long way

When I moved here I was encouraged to just focus on language for the first two years and then get a job and do all the things. I scoffed a bit at first but after living here for nearly 4 years, I can’t imagine trying to learn while doing daily life. In my opinion, learning the local language when moving abroad is so important for several reasons. Firstly, it enables effective communication with locals, which means meaningful connections and relationships. It also makes daily tasks easier. My favorite thing was to go to the local market and practice while I got my veggies and fruits. 

Secondly, learning Turkish demonstrates respect and appreciation for Turks. Locals often appreciate and value the attempt to speak their language, and it can lead to a warmer reception and acceptance within the community as well as opening up a world of opportunities. I don’t know how many times someone has been extra kind because I am speaking to them in their language, even if my grammar is wrong. 

Lastly, learning Turkish fosters personal growth and adaptability. It challenges you intellectually and helps develop skills such as problem-solving, memory, and multitasking. It also boosts self-confidence and independence, as you become more self-sufficient in your daily life. It has forced me out of my comfort zone and expanded my capacity in many ways. 

Housing is hard to find

Finding housing when moving to a new country can often be challenging especially if you don’t know the language. Of course, in many places, they also speak English but then there are cultural differences that you have to deal with as well. 

It can also be hard if you don’t understand the market of a place. Recently I was meeting with a realtor to discuss a new business venture I am working on and it shocked me how different the real estate process was here than back in America. I am glad I had help when I first got here instead of having to deal with all this. 

Also depending on the market, there may be financial considerations. Perhaps you have your heart set on one neighborhood but due to the cost of living realize that you simply can’t afford it. One thing that surprised me is that here in Turkey they often have what they call a Merkezi system. This essentially means you share the gas bill in equal parts regardless of whether you use it. Every winter I pay for heat that I never use. Turks keep their houses so hot, in fact, that I have to sometimes sleep with the windows open! How’s that for irony? 

Culture Shock is a real thing

Someone said something to me once about how I was going through culture shock and I thought to myself, “No I’m not…that’s not a real thing.” Until I realize that it genuinely is. Understanding that allowed me to have so much more grace for myself in the transition. 

Culture shock is essentially the disorientation and possible feelings of anxiety that you will encounter when you move to an unfamiliar culture. Things like emotional discomfort, language barriers, cultural differences from your own, difference in values and beliefs as well as a massive change in your daily routines all contribute to culture shock. 

The good news is that it is normal and temporary! You will be able to get past it. It will get better. It will also hit you sometimes a year or two in without realizing it. I remember the first time I knew I was experiencing it. I lived with a Turkish woman for the first year I was here. I wanted to go paint my toes on the balcony. It was during the pandemic and I was tired of being locked inside. But she said I couldn’t do that because it would draw attention and men may look at me, which wasn’t good being a single woman.

I cried.  It really wasn’t that big of a deal but it hit me so hard realizing that if I wanted to settle in for real here, I would lose doing all the things my way. 

Going back home will be even harder

Previous note being considered when I went back home for the first time after a year and a half, it was much harder than I expected. There were many ways in which I had adapted to Turkish culture. I found somethings that we as Americans are absolutely ridiculous. 

I remember the first time I went to a restaurant and ordered a large drink, which I rarely do but when you go to Chick-fil-a for the first time in over a year and a half you get a massive lemonade, I laughed at how large a large was. In Turkey, serving sizes are much smaller, especially with drinks and they never come with refills. 

You will notice things about your home country/city/state that you never had before. When you do, don’t be shocked. Take it with a grain of salt and let it shape you a little more. 

Everything is different – everything

I absolutely love change…most of the time. Especially when I am stressed, I like to change my room or something that I have control over. When I moved abroad, however, everything was different and it was constant change and adaption. That was a really intense season. 

One of the things that was so different that I didn’t expect was I didn’t know where to buy certain things that I needed. I think I wanted to get some rubbing alcohol once. In America, I would simply head to Walmart or something and grab a bottle along with all the other things I needed. Here, the grocery stores, or markets as they call them, are much smaller and don’t have things like rubbing alcohol at them. 

I had to figure out what the different places sold and where they were. I had to learn that they didn’t always carry the things that I needed/wanted. This is the precise time I started making a list of things that I would bring back from the States. 

Having some “comfort” foods/routines/etc will help you settle

When I moved to Turkey it was such a smooth move for sure! I was actually quite shocked but there were still moments of being home-sick. Mostly because I missed the familiar. Someone suggested that I find something to do regularly that would remind me of home. 

In normal life, I eat fairly healthy but for about a month or two at the beginning of moving to Turkey, after my Turkish lessons on Wednesdays, I would go to Carl’s Jr. and get a small burger meal. Burgers screamed America to me. I would sit there and eat my burger and then do homework. 

I also allowed myself to watch some English Netflix and let my mind just unwind a bit. There were a couple of weeks where I watched way too much but thankfully I recognized it and found some other ways to unwind. I didn’t want to completely check out; I just didn’t want to lose my mind. 

Pack what you can’t replace

I had a big suitcase, a duffle, a backpack, and a purse with me when I moved. I brought things I thought I would need but there were so many things I could have easily replaced after moving.

Unfortunately, some of it you just don’t know what you can’t replace until you go. On my first trip back to the States, I brought back an entire suitcase full of gifts so that I could fill it with stuff for myself when I returned to Turkey.

If you’re planning to come to Turkey I would recommend you bring all the electronics you will want. That is one thing that I have found to be reliably unreliable. I would also bring your favorite spice or food that will bring comfort on those days you need to feel a bit at home.

I would also bring things that are very American. Think of things like ranch seasoning or chili seasoning. While Turkey has become much more Western in a lot of ways, that does not mean American.

Check out our moving abroad packing list for help on what to bring and what to leave behind when moving abroad.

Chill out

Seriously. Just chill out. Maybe you aren’t as driven or “need to get it all accomplished” as me but I had to give myself permission to just take a break. I had to have rest days where I not only didn’t work but I took a break from Turkish as much as I could. My mind really needed to recover.

I also took a lot of naps. I am not a nap person. The only time I take a nap is if I am sick, which is never. So when I started sleeping in the middle of the day, I knew I needed it. Do whatever it is you need to do to take care of yourself and remember that it is a process.

There were many a nights where a glass of wine or local beer helped the stress melt away. No judgement here. It is even said that drinking helps your language as it frees you of some of your inhibition. Maybe give it a try.

Making friends isn’t the same as in elementary school

Recently I read a book called “The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs” by Laura Tremaine. Even though I have been here for nearly 4 years now, I still feel like I am missing friendships that I wish I had.

As I read this book she talked about how it isn’t the same as it was in elementary school. You have to work harder because friendships take work. When you live in a city of 18 million people (Istanbul), it can compound that even more. Make time to keep in touch with family and friends back home to help feel less isolated.

What has helped is getting involved in foreign women groups or doing sports with locals. I hope to join a business class this summer to really push my Turkish to a whole new level even.

Turks genuinely love to be helpful

Turks are known for their hospitality but I was surprised by how willing they were to help me as I settled in. I do think this was compounded by my immediately jumping into Turkish lessons. I could speak a few things right away and that showed people I was invested in their culture.

However, something I didn’t realize was that because of cultural differences, because they wanted to help but didn’t want to lose face by not knowing, I would sometimes get told the wrong information. This is very common. If you ask for directions, for instance, they may tell you how to get somewhere but they may be completely wrong.

I say that to say don’t jump to the conclusion that they are trying to screw you over…they aren’t. They just didn’t want to say they didn’t know because in this culture that is much harder than in ours.

You will be changed in ways you never expected

But this is the one that most surprised me. Moving abroad has changed me in so many ways. I am not the same person I was when I moved here and I am eternally grateful for that.

Living abroad has increased my cultural awareness, grown my resilience, expanded my worldview, increased my self-reliance, grown me as a person, connected me to a wider global network, and enhanced my interpersonal skills.

Each of these things has been a hard journey but I know I am better for it and you will be too.

Final thoughts on moving to Turkey

Moving to Turkey or abroad, in general, can be an incredibly enriching and transformative experience. However, understanding a few things can greatly facilitate the transition. Additionally, embracing Turkish hospitality, exploring the diverse culinary delights, and immersing oneself in the country’s rich history and traditions can enhance the overall experience.

By being proactive in seeking knowledge and advice, individuals can navigate the challenges and embrace the opportunities that come with living abroad. Ultimately, being open-minded, adaptable, and willing to embrace the unique aspects of local culture will contribute to a fulfilling and rewarding life in your new host country.

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